This is still rubbing me the wrong way. I really shouldn’t let what other people think bug me, but sometimes it does. Well, and this person has irritated me before with her mouth. Just let it go!
The other day, an older woman (her grandkids are now adults) was sharing with me about some of her child rearing. Her daughter piped in also. It was neat. Some of it was how “mean” she could be (can’t we all?) while part of it was how she balanced it out with nurturing, play, fun during chores, etc.
So then she pops off, “Well, I only had three so I could do things like that. I guess with so many you can’t.”
All people are different. Maybe *she* couldn’t have eight children and spend time with each one. Maybe *she* couldn’t have gotten individual time with each child each day. Maybe *she* couldn’t fix pancake muffins, make chores fun, chase them around on scooters, whatever. Me? I can.
In my favor are a few things. First, I intentionally am WITH my kids. I sit on the floor half the day with them. They are usually in the same room as me, even. I believe nurturing and playing with kids (let them lead, mostly) is healthy for them. I can more easily discipline when I can easily tell what is going on. And my kids are home. Homeschooling gives me six or seven hours she didn’t have.
Anyway, all kids are different. All people are different. We have different goals. We have different abilities. We have different strengths. We have different needs.
I *am* capable of taking care of eight children (two being young adults now so just the six littles). We go to the park. They are involved in sports. We have a lot of appointments to work around. The school-aged children are advanced academically and *are* being educated well at home. We do volunteer work, are involved in our congregation, etc. They spend a LOT of time outside. We simply are a very active family. Our children’s play therapist, when describing us in an email said that we spend more time playing with the children than any other family she’s ever worked with. We simply believe in it 🙂
It is important that we remember, I think, to support others, not tear them down. I have looked at other families and thought, “I couldn’t do THAT.” I don’t look at other families and think, “they can’t do what we do because they ___________.” It is not for me to judge whether someone else can do what I can do. Then there is a question about whether someone else even WANTS to do what I do.
Be nice Mamas. We’re all doing our best 🙂