I am struggling significantly (as is the rest of my family) with the loss of our Sweet Little M.  Many people cannot understand; but we feel as if we lost a daughter.  To make it worse, we fear for how she is doing and how she will do long term. Unfortunately, what information we’ve gotten has made it worse, not better. And so then there is the guilt that we couldn’t find a way to protect her from this.

I am so thankful for my online and IRL support.

I just wish the pain didn’t hurt SO badly and SO constantly.  For all of us.

I hope one day I stop crying so much. 


2 thoughts on “Struggling

  1. The loss of a sweet little one from a foster home is something deep and tearing. Our first placement we had twice, and I’ve kept a light ear out for updates. I stayed close to the family (kincare) they went to, and it all got jumbled up. It wasn’t a great situation for the kids, they let the bio mom have complete access, then they let the state take them back and move them to a different county….it has been a terrible journey for those kids. We had to choose to move them the second time. The bio dad had been arrested 7 times in 5 months, was known for physical altercations, and they knew who were were, and knew the mile or so vicinity we lived in (I had a truck decal that represented my farm, they could google). It was horrible, and gut wrenching, until a beautiful couple said they’d take them. They had SUCH a chance! But the extended family couldn’t let go, let god give them a chance without having a hand in it. I had to distance myself and ask everyone I know to follow them through life with prayer, because living with the daily details was too much for my soul. God bless every home that is willing to take this journey through foster care, and I pray you are able to heal with your tears…the emotion means M meant that much to you…and that’s exactly what M needs.

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