Here is a blast from the past post, a post I wrote in the Summer of 2011, what seems like a lifetime ago. Child was a newly turned 3yo at the time, nickname was Munchkin in real life and on my blog. To me, if you will look back up to the start of the post after finishing, you’ll remember that this scenario all started with the child going from one naughty thing to another, things he knew not to do, but seemed unable to stop doing. He just kept getting “in trouble.” Why? He had a lot going on in his head and heart at that moment!
“Munchkin, bottom” (meaning don’t stand on the couch)
“Munchkin, give your brother back that toy.”
“Munchkin, is that what you’re supposed to be doing?”
“Munchkin, stop already!”
“Okay, Munchkin, you come sit up on the couch next to mama.”
Munchkin pouts as I’m eating a late breakfast while the kids play so he thinks he’s just gonna sit there bored to death. Of course, that is an option, but…
“J, will you please get those new puzzles for me? I think they are on the bottom of the bookcase in the office.”
“Look Munchkin. Whatcha think?”
“Tell baby it’s okay to miss mommy.” He doesn’t. I pick up a baby and have it whine, “me miss mommy.” Then I respond with, “oh, baby, I’m so sorry you are sad. It is okay to miss your mommy.”
Munchkin continues to play with the animals and they continue to be sad. I pick up the giraffe saying it’s the foster mommy and having it kiss the babies, telling them she loves them and it’s going to be okay. Munchkin gets VERY upset though!
“The foster mommy is stupid?”
He hollers at the giraffe again saying over and over how it is stupid.
I tell him it’s okay to be mad and sad. I have the giraffe kiss the baby lion.
“You don’t kiss baby! You bad! You stu-pit! You shut up.”
Over and over he tells the giraffe to shut up. Finally, he puts his hand on her mouth. I make a sound like I’m trying to talk through his hand. He says, “you shut up, you stupit” and then grabs her neck and strangles her.
I say, “oh, you are very angry with the giraffe. What did she do wrong?” Remember, I’m thinking the giraffe is the foster mom so in his world is ME.
He takes the giraffe from my hands and throws it on the floor. He says she is stupid and dead.
I ask him who HE is. Is he the daddy? the baby?
He replies, “I PAM!” in a big voice.
All of a sudden, I relaxed quite a bit. At least he’s not thinking of killing ME. I said, “oh, you are Pam? Who is the giraffe?”
He says, “Mommy stupid and dead!”
He picks up the baby animals and loves on them.
We then pick up the animals and put them away. We go to the store and go about the rest of our day. He has trouble at meal times, but all other behavior is mostly fine outside of a few preschool incidents (like standing up in the grocery cart). I guess he needed to play that out.
I hope he doesn’t think I will kill his mommy though. I am sorry for what she has done to her kids. I hope they never go back there again. I hope they can heal from what she and daddy have done to them. I just can’t easily make what has happened go away.