There once was this toddler from Nantucket.
Okay, so maybe not from Nantucket. Middle of Nowhere, Texas more like it. Anyway, this toddler. He is about a year and a half old. He is related to my three. He also has two older siblings. I’ve been following him from a distance for the last two years (from pregnancy). Seems people have the need to tell me things.
Well, I specifically asked if this child had CPS involved in his life and was told no. I thought maybe that was a possibility since I knew that there was a relative *very* involved in his life. That relative seemed normal enough (if Facebook is any indication. Ha!).
So, of course, I was lied to and CPS *is* involved. Recently, CPS took custody of the children but initially left them with this relative. Good…maybe. But when this all happened, people felt the need to tell me things. Maybe it *wasn’t* so okay with this relative afterall. Well, once CPS took custody, they were responsible for this little guy and his half-siblings so they requested a homestudy on the relative.
Once I found out that CPS had taken custody, I immediately called multiple people trying to find the right worker. If they could stay with the family, GREAT! But if not, the one child is kin (a relative, in our case, via adoption) and we wanted him. And since we’re a licensed foster home and *could* take all three, we were willing to take all three IF we were needed.
I *really* hoped things weren’t as bad as they kinda sounded. I mean, really, can you *really* trust gossip? And the gossip in that area is *bad.* It is amazing what all I’ve heard from up there since my kids were adopted! It simply cannot all be true (or at least it doesn’t seem it could be but how things have played out over the last couple years suggests some things have been untrue also).
Anyway, it took some work, but we finally let some key people, including the current caseworker, know that IF needed, we could take all three kids (chances are they would have been split up had they just gone through the system due to circumstances locally).
So then I get the call. Caseworker says there were significant concerns found in the home. She didn’t outline what they were. She asked if we still could take all three children. I answered, yes.
So this morning, three little kids will have their world rocked because the multiple adults involved (or not so involved as the case may be for some) didn’t just do what should have been done. I want to be angry because I know the kids will be upset, scared, and probably angry. I want to be angry at them because they should “know better.” I know darn well that they love these kids, so why?!?!?!
At the same time, I know that it isn’t that simple. People do better when they can do better. Many times, neglect and abuse are passed down generation to generation. Life is hard in some places making stress more challenging so floors don’t get vacuumed and toilets don’t get clean. Addiction is *really* hard to overcome with the best of help, much less just what the social service organizations in an area may have set up. Depression and other mental illness can’t just be handled with a “pull yourself up by your bootstraps.” Poor choices often snowball burying whole people and families, even areas.
So this morning, as I await the arrival of three precious young children, I hope the best for their parents, grandparents, and other relatives. I hope that somehow things can work out for them. In the meantime, their little people will be safe and well-cared for.
Oh, the title of this post? I said “no more sibling group of three!” I have said period, never, not happening, don’t call. But obviously I couldn’t just let the little guy go and he shouldn’t be separated from his siblings. So here we go again :)